I Make Bad Decisions
I Make Bad Decisions
The Gospel According to Kristen
Every year my friends talk about what they’re giving up for the 40-day lenten period before Zombie Jesus rises from the ground to fight Darth Vader Easter. Every year, I go on the same tirade about how giving something up for less than two months does not a good Christian make. As a kid, I’d … Continue reading
to thine own self be true
This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Farewell, my blessing season this in thee! I’ve been on a theater tear lately. Hunchback of Notre Dame, Book of Mormon, Aladdin, If’/Then, and Something Rotten twice. Of … Continue reading
PTI: DVC and the Polynesian Village and Bungalows
PTI is Pardon the Interruption. Not only is it one of my favorite ESPN shows, it’s also something I’ll use to break up my stream of consciousness with posts about Disney. Enjoy. Or don’t, whatever. Tune in next time for biting sarcasm and controlled rage. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Disney Vacation Club, … Continue reading
The Anguish of the Longish Distance Runner
I despise running. Loathe. Abhor. I would rather jump into a tank of rabid, mating Great White Sharks while bleeding profusely after stabbing myself multiple times before lacing up and “pounding the pavement.” Fuck that. I permanently regret whatever drugs I was on when I signed up for the Princess Half Marathon. I must have … Continue reading
The Moth Complex
Like a moth drawn to a flame. More likely, like an adult human girl running towards a rampaging tire fire. Why are we always drawn to the things that destroy us? Not burn, destroy. Bugs aren’t burned by flames or bug zappers; they’re killed. Obliterated. Have you ever seen the YouTube video of a fly … Continue reading
Observations
Lots of stuff is happening on the internets these days. Anonymous death threats to women for just talking? Check. Hate-filled directives towards minorities in light of recent national tragedies? Triple check. By the way, these are all American happenings. Movements of hate we thought we buried deep in history textbooks have found new life on the … Continue reading
Reflections
Today is the day I would have graduated law school. Emphasis on the would have- as anyone who read my very first, dust-collecting post knows, I left law school on the second day of classes in January, 2012. I sold my books, ditched my apartment, and burned many, many bridges of those mentioned in previous … Continue reading
Real heavy, man.
This one’s gonna be slightly more serious. I’m in the mood- indulge me. This time four years ago I was a size 4-6, filling in from the size 2 I sported over the summer. Those of you who know me in real life and not on the interwebs know that I’ve always been a curvy … Continue reading
I Hate Actors: An Exercise in Self-Loathing
This isn’t your run-of-the-mill “I Hate Actors” rant. We all hate actors. If you’re not jealous of someone making millions of dollars annually by working six months a year, you’re lying through your teeth. I’m talking about real, studied, pounding-the-pavement daily actors. Most of them suck, and I’m not just talking about their level of … Continue reading
the best way to tell a story is from the beginning
So fuck everyone, I’m starting in the middle. You have to assume something is wrong with your life when you find yourself having a mental breakdown in front of an Applebee’s at 3:30 on a Monday. Mascara was running down my face and onto the cover of my Contracts textbook. My nose was also running … Continue reading
Snapshot
Circa very late 2014/very early 2015.
I Make Bad Decisions 