About Kristen

Smartassing it on the Garden State Parkway

1. Meet Kristen.

2. Born and raised in New Jersey.

3. Loves anything and everything Disney.

4. Also loves Jose Cuervo.

5. Hates mayonnaise.

Skills: Disney Princess impersonations, flip cup, Microsoft Word

Interests: Walt Disney World, Yankees, artery clogging junk food

Hobbies: Swimming, travel, mooching off my parents

Education: Bachelor of Arts in Theater Studies/Honors Program designation, summa cum laude- Montclair State University

Associate’s Degree in Tailgating- Rutgers University

Master of Arts in Bullshit, magna cum laude (fast track program)- Boston College Law School



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Oopsies. Something's supposed to be here.

Circa very late 2014/very early 2015.

Law school dropout. Lover of all things Disney. Exploring the vast wildlands of New Jersey and recording every second.


  • RT @jonfavs: Let me get this straight: the conservative response to an autocratic government murdering a journalist who was an American res… 1 day ago
  • RT @perlmutations: Hey! You asleep? Wake up. Turn on your tv. See that? Every republican running for office is saying they will protect you… 1 day ago
  • RT @repjohnlewis: I am sick and outraged over the murder of journalist and American permanent resident Jamal Khashoggi. The President and h… 2 days ago
  • RT @TheJewishDream: | ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄| Ban Nazis you assholes |___________| \ (•◡•) /… 2 days ago
  • RT @suwanneeladykt: Prof. Seeker be like "I’m FAR from the end of the Cretaceous period”: Dino Institute 📍 📏 (2. m… 2 days ago

Life comes in stages..

Click me!

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